Down to earth, got my mood set aside, of course, it's after few days of struggling.
A class to attend tomorrow, 9am this time round, hope my mind will go damn clear while the mighty lecturer speaks!
Well, it's new year, there won't be a brand new me, as I'm always myself. Just that as years fly, I change the masks of mine, to suit the environment to the fullest.
Received couple of messages from friends, thank you. For dropping by and says hi, for supporting, for comforting, for not having me feeling alone. You as flowers, bright and shine, as strength for me to carry on.
Thank you darling, for listening to all my craps and nonsence, I couldn't ask for more. Love you. Thank you mom and dad, after all these, it's still always both of you. Love you both.
Happy Schooling everybody! I'm on with my mask-of-the-smiling-face to class tomorrow.
Adios!
p/s: I'm so in love in sewing now, looking for short courses, not so soon but I really need one!
29 January 2010
26 January 2010
我
你知道吗，我吸的每一口气，做的每一件事，甚至活着的每一刻，都是为了你？
我自问我付出的不多，可是总不比别人少。
从小到大，你总是告诉我，我不是聪明的，所以要比别人努力。每时每刻我都记得，你对我的教诲。
我不要求，因为我知道我不可以。没有人会理会，没有人会关心，因为我要的并不是他们所要的。所以我知足。
我不敢要钱，因为我知道，从小我就是负担。就算没钱了，我都不会出声，甚至偷公公的零钱，一分一毫的存起来，下课还可以买碗面。
我工作，因为我知道，政府贷款的申请我失败了，负担就更重了。你给我的钱，就只足够还房租，买课本，还有一两个星期的食物。
我读书，因为我知道，你不想我被欺负，要做个能干的人。我不喜欢读书，更不会读法律，根本没有想过，要离开家人到英国求学。
从小到大，我只会哭泣，我会怨天怨地，为什么已经没有爸爸了，我被打被骂，你都不保护我。在家里每一个人冤枉我，打我骂我，我除了忍，就是忍。
朋友们都很羡慕我，羡慕我的坚强，我的独立。我知道我不是，睡觉之前，我都以泪洗脸，醒来过后，又是一样的过日子。
我知道，生活是现实的，是要面对的。以往哭哭啼啼的日子，我不要了。没有人知道我的过去，没有人知道我的内心，更没有人认识“苏女雅”了…
在别人面前，我总是笑脸迎人，解决问题的强人，很好的领队。我很努力，可是我没有炫耀，不代表我的隐藏，是无所谓的。
答应你了，我不会让你失望，我又再犯了，对不起。
我的失败，并不是因为我怕输，是因为，我又再次让你失望了。
我总是被人骂，工作被人歧视，被人指指点点，我都撑下去，因为我知道，我一定要努力。
在你心目中，我是最好的吗？我努力吗？
做不到你所求的，我后悔，已是于事无补了…
请你相信我，我真的尽力了。我没有弟弟本领，会讨你开心，更没有妹妹伶俐，一学就上手了。
我想要你知道，我是我，我并不坚强，并不独立，很脆弱，遇到瓶颈就会哭泣，就会跌倒，伤口会很深，需要很久的时间，才能痊愈。
我并不本事，一切都是装的，装出来，是为了让你安心的…
我还是以前的“爱哭包”，没有变过…
我自问我付出的不多，可是总不比别人少。
从小到大，你总是告诉我，我不是聪明的，所以要比别人努力。每时每刻我都记得，你对我的教诲。
我不要求，因为我知道我不可以。没有人会理会，没有人会关心，因为我要的并不是他们所要的。所以我知足。
我不敢要钱，因为我知道，从小我就是负担。就算没钱了，我都不会出声，甚至偷公公的零钱，一分一毫的存起来，下课还可以买碗面。
我工作，因为我知道，政府贷款的申请我失败了，负担就更重了。你给我的钱，就只足够还房租，买课本，还有一两个星期的食物。
我读书，因为我知道，你不想我被欺负，要做个能干的人。我不喜欢读书，更不会读法律，根本没有想过，要离开家人到英国求学。
从小到大，我只会哭泣，我会怨天怨地，为什么已经没有爸爸了，我被打被骂，你都不保护我。在家里每一个人冤枉我，打我骂我，我除了忍，就是忍。
朋友们都很羡慕我，羡慕我的坚强，我的独立。我知道我不是，睡觉之前，我都以泪洗脸，醒来过后，又是一样的过日子。
我知道，生活是现实的，是要面对的。以往哭哭啼啼的日子，我不要了。没有人知道我的过去，没有人知道我的内心，更没有人认识“苏女雅”了…
在别人面前，我总是笑脸迎人，解决问题的强人，很好的领队。我很努力，可是我没有炫耀，不代表我的隐藏，是无所谓的。
答应你了，我不会让你失望，我又再犯了，对不起。
我的失败，并不是因为我怕输，是因为，我又再次让你失望了。
我总是被人骂，工作被人歧视，被人指指点点，我都撑下去，因为我知道，我一定要努力。
在你心目中，我是最好的吗？我努力吗？
做不到你所求的，我后悔，已是于事无补了…
请你相信我，我真的尽力了。我没有弟弟本领，会讨你开心，更没有妹妹伶俐，一学就上手了。
我想要你知道，我是我，我并不坚强，并不独立，很脆弱，遇到瓶颈就会哭泣，就会跌倒，伤口会很深，需要很久的时间，才能痊愈。
我并不本事，一切都是装的，装出来，是为了让你安心的…
我还是以前的“爱哭包”，没有变过…
17 January 2010
Boredom
What a long long long and long holiday. After our trip to Paris and Rome, we stepped feet on Oxford, and there's nothing else to do except for slacking!
As for me, my shift was on Monday, Saturday and Sunday, other than that? I'm stuck with my internet, or mostly my favorite shows! Look at what I've done to my 3-month usage of plastic bags!
This is 'Before'...
This is 'After'... Ain't it look better now ;)
As a matter of fact, there's something wrong with the weather here! Just because of that, my parcel from dear Grace was delayed day by day! Anyway, I managed to get my gift thanks to my flatmate ;) Let me show show~
It's Lipstick from Grace, Givenchy~
Thank you Sweetie!
Nothing much to do, we hang out, get home and sleep, hang out again! Well I'm trying to do something more... Will update you next time then :)
Adios!
p/s: Happy Birthday Hwan Synn!! Have a Great one and All the Best onwards! ♥
As for me, my shift was on Monday, Saturday and Sunday, other than that? I'm stuck with my internet, or mostly my favorite shows! Look at what I've done to my 3-month usage of plastic bags!
This is 'Before'...
This is 'After'... Ain't it look better now ;)
As a matter of fact, there's something wrong with the weather here! Just because of that, my parcel from dear Grace was delayed day by day! Anyway, I managed to get my gift thanks to my flatmate ;) Let me show show~
It's Lipstick from Grace, Givenchy~
Thank you Sweetie!
Nothing much to do, we hang out, get home and sleep, hang out again! Well I'm trying to do something more... Will update you next time then :)
Adios!
p/s: Happy Birthday Hwan Synn!! Have a Great one and All the Best onwards! ♥
14 January 2010
Happy New Year!
Happy 2010!
I was away to London, then to Paris, next to Rome, now back to Oxford. Sorry for being this late, right after my trip, I'm dead tired, got myself back with my green apron and now finally few days break for me, to get back on my space here ;)
Expecting more than just this ;p
Alright, it's new year already! Packed up, with no haste, we walked and got Metro, for free to the station. Had McD! And waited for hours for the train to Rome. Suprisingly, the cubical is narrowly Small! Fitted 6 persons for a 15-hour ride, I slept throughout the journey, woke up a while for expensive yet disgusting dinner, and slept again! Arriving Rome Termini, found M & J Hostel, settled down. Met the boss, we called him Mario, and J stands for Josephine (Our very owned Jo)!
With a map of Rome, he planned us 3 routes for our 3-day stay in Rome, how kind of him. Starting of with the first route, our first destination is to Colosseo - Colossuem. Drizzling, and it's almost 4pm, we skipped it and walked around Circo Massimo. Still walking, to the Heart of Rome - where all roads lead to Rome. Down the street of Via Nazionale, not much of mood to shop, all of us were exhausted, we got back to hostel, had and early rest.
Rome very owned Cappuccino and Tiramitsu ♥
Continue with our second and third routes the next two days. Visited The Vatican City. Paid 40 Euros for the tour, well at least I get to learn about the background of Vatican City. What makes me excited is that I was there where Tom Hanks filmed Angels and Demons!!!
St. Peters Square, Vatican City!
Went Fontana di Trevi, found another wonderful sculpture! I made a wish, tossed a coin, may it comes true :)
Fontana di Trevi ~ ♫
Please drop a visit to my facebook account for more pictures of Paris and Rome, of me and my friends! Will get back to you tomorrow! Ciao Ciao~
p/s: Pictures of Paris & Rome, more updates ahead ;)
I was away to London, then to Paris, next to Rome, now back to Oxford. Sorry for being this late, right after my trip, I'm dead tired, got myself back with my green apron and now finally few days break for me, to get back on my space here ;)
Much of details of my family vacation in London earlier, would like to share some of Paris and Rome. It was 30.12.2009, I didn't get any better, still very ill, dragged myself to St. Pancras station and waited for Eurostar to Paris. Was too tired to guide, I'm much of a follower there. Get ourselves settled down in the hotel, we'd decided to walk around, just so unfortunate that we're at the outer Paris, underground Metro is the only way!
Trust me, I hardly recall the places we'd been, even the name of the buildings. Well, this is our first stop in Paris.
Caught cold again, fever came back. Had long long long hours of rest, I was better. This time round, I became the guide. It was New Year eve, we were out since 10am, wondered around the very hit shopping street! Met Louis Vuitton, dropped by and said Hi to most of the bags ($$$)! Bought Italian dessert, cost us 38 Euros (Well we shared!). Walked ourselves to Eiffel Tower. Metro was shut, otherwise, it was full. Roughly 4 stations away, we walked. People were walking, we managed to get there, found a nice spot, about 500m away from Eiffel, settled down and waited for 'the time'.
From Laduree, Paris..
Quite a disappointment actually, there was no fireworks, no scoreboard, no cheering, no craze, no nothing! I thought it was time, so was aiming some figures to be showed. Thinking maybe the lights faded part by part: "Yes it's counting down!" "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Eiffel Tower went blank. And then lots of twinkles appeared. "Ok? It's new year now?" Sorry to say, yes it is, and that's all for Paris! It was beautiful, but personally, it was not :(
Expecting more than just this ;p
Alright, it's new year already! Packed up, with no haste, we walked and got Metro, for free to the station. Had McD! And waited for hours for the train to Rome. Suprisingly, the cubical is narrowly Small! Fitted 6 persons for a 15-hour ride, I slept throughout the journey, woke up a while for expensive yet disgusting dinner, and slept again! Arriving Rome Termini, found M & J Hostel, settled down. Met the boss, we called him Mario, and J stands for Josephine (Our very owned Jo)!
With a map of Rome, he planned us 3 routes for our 3-day stay in Rome, how kind of him. Starting of with the first route, our first destination is to Colosseo - Colossuem. Drizzling, and it's almost 4pm, we skipped it and walked around Circo Massimo. Still walking, to the Heart of Rome - where all roads lead to Rome. Down the street of Via Nazionale, not much of mood to shop, all of us were exhausted, we got back to hostel, had and early rest.
Rome very owned Cappuccino and Tiramitsu ♥
Continue with our second and third routes the next two days. Visited The Vatican City. Paid 40 Euros for the tour, well at least I get to learn about the background of Vatican City. What makes me excited is that I was there where Tom Hanks filmed Angels and Demons!!!
St. Peters Square, Vatican City!
Went Fontana di Trevi, found another wonderful sculpture! I made a wish, tossed a coin, may it comes true :)
Fontana di Trevi ~ ♫
Please drop a visit to my facebook account for more pictures of Paris and Rome, of me and my friends! Will get back to you tomorrow! Ciao Ciao~
p/s: Pictures of Paris & Rome, more updates ahead ;)
30 December 2009
Sick!
Feeling sicks, I had been vomitting since yesterday, fever and sore throat was attacking me, all the time. I tried to struggle, at least to post a blog of the day, I surrendered! Well, it was the last day of mine with my family, at least this year, unfortunately, I spent my time sleeping, very weak.
My brother was busy playing, plus taking good care of me, how nice of him. Asking me whether I vomite or not, whether I need any water or food. I was too tired, I couldn't remember, whether I thank him.
I woke up today, my sister asked: "Are you ok? (In chinese ;p) Well, I'm getting better, slightly. Called darling, he google-d some information for me (I miss him.... Lots...). Think I'm having gastric, so I forced myself to drink some warm milk, ended up, I vomitted all. Sigh, another tired day.
Got myself all packedup, back to Oxford, I cried again when I see mom's leaving, having me standing behind, seeing all of them leaving. It's hard to overcome these, and I hate it.
Anyway, Paris here I come. At least this thought held me back from being emo. Not feeling better, but, what to do? Bon Jour Paris! I'll see y'all again when I get back to my internet! Au Revoir!
My brother was busy playing, plus taking good care of me, how nice of him. Asking me whether I vomite or not, whether I need any water or food. I was too tired, I couldn't remember, whether I thank him.
I woke up today, my sister asked: "Are you ok? (In chinese ;p) Well, I'm getting better, slightly. Called darling, he google-d some information for me (I miss him.... Lots...). Think I'm having gastric, so I forced myself to drink some warm milk, ended up, I vomitted all. Sigh, another tired day.
Got myself all packedup, back to Oxford, I cried again when I see mom's leaving, having me standing behind, seeing all of them leaving. It's hard to overcome these, and I hate it.
Anyway, Paris here I come. At least this thought held me back from being emo. Not feeling better, but, what to do? Bon Jour Paris! I'll see y'all again when I get back to my internet! Au Revoir!
28 December 2009
Emotional
"Rise and shine!" I love the way Cain woke me, sometimes he'll switch on the lights, literally all lights that can shine on me. Maybe, he'll take away my blanket. Particularly, I love that he woke me up by whispering to my ear. Worst part is that he'll tickle me on my feet! Well, obviously I'll go mad 'bout that! ;p
I was half awaked, tried to get myself settle with breakfast, waffle spotted (added double cream!). Not to bore my morning, I switched on ITV1 - Spirit. Can't really recall the story line, watch it once again - It's emotional. The spirit of horses is just beautiful. It's more like Wall-E, not much of dialog, messages like love, respect, tolerance, and care are all implied. Not much of effort in the graphics, but a successful story yet again, by Dreamwork.
An appointment with my dad's cousin - Aunt June. Not really clear about her address, but she's definitely a charming person! A person with smile on her face, always. She cooked lamb stew, mixed vegetables, Uncle Steven bought us desserts, almond tart and blueberry vanilla tart. Beautiful late christmas lunch! I'm not used to hang around with people I just met, so... I watched TV instead ;(
Leaving around 4 in the afternoon, need to rush to another appointment with Uncle Weng Fook at 05:30pm. Since there's 'free'time, dad proposed to drop by Madaland - CHEAP Stuff! As usual, I'll be babysitting so... Instead of the ladies department, I went to the kids department! Lucky to say, all toys got 'sapu' during boxing day, seriously left none, maybe some teared boxes! Well I'm upset because I need to convince the kids to not to be upset. Apart from that, I'm literally thinking that I'll get extra pocket money by now :D
Dinner with family in Harvester. With not-so-satisfied services, and very big portion of food, we got the bill. Found a British lady attempted to earn some tips without even serving us. Let the 'Super-women' deal with it, we found out that she lied to her manager and keyed in our order under her name! Well, she messed up with the wrong customers. It's not her day! ;D Lucky manager, he got it all!
Back to Hampstead, had banana cake for dessert, kids were cranky, all went to sleep, and that's all for today!
Ciao~ ♫
27 December 2009
It's Christmas + Boxing Day!
Yeap, my internet went down yesterday, it actually ruined my mood - 'I want to post something!'
Well, it's Christmas :) We did nothing much, dad did some stuffing cooking - To show off his skill. Mom was asked 'not' to help, gave her a break then! As usual, I'll be babysitting the 'mao-lao'! We got turkey and sausages for lunch, leftover for dinner, and presents for all day long ;) Well I believed thoughts that count, just that the definition of Christmas for us is something simple, but together!
I got hair serum, an organic one! Pocket notebook, it's for the shopping list purpose ;) Towel hanger, toothpaste disposer, and... A compact Holy Bible. Curious bout that? Don't be, caused I don't know why either, perhaps, an implied message from my mom. Well, I'm happy.
Boxing Day! Finally get to an environment with celebration of boxing day, how do I feel it? Through TV adverts *sigh* Friends were outside shopping like crazy, I myself stayed at home, reading news 'bout the crazy queue in London. At least, I knew about the craze here ;p
Happy Christmas again! Now let's countdown to the very new year of 2010!
To Everyone, All the Best onwards! ♥
Countdown Clocks, Hearts Countdowns at WishAFriend.com
Well, it's Christmas :) We did nothing much, dad did some stuffing cooking - To show off his skill. Mom was asked 'not' to help, gave her a break then! As usual, I'll be babysitting the 'mao-lao'! We got turkey and sausages for lunch, leftover for dinner, and presents for all day long ;) Well I believed thoughts that count, just that the definition of Christmas for us is something simple, but together!
I got hair serum, an organic one! Pocket notebook, it's for the shopping list purpose ;) Towel hanger, toothpaste disposer, and... A compact Holy Bible. Curious bout that? Don't be, caused I don't know why either, perhaps, an implied message from my mom. Well, I'm happy.
Boxing Day! Finally get to an environment with celebration of boxing day, how do I feel it? Through TV adverts *sigh* Friends were outside shopping like crazy, I myself stayed at home, reading news 'bout the crazy queue in London. At least, I knew about the craze here ;p
Happy Christmas again! Now let's countdown to the very new year of 2010!
To Everyone, All the Best onwards! ♥
Countdown Clocks, Hearts Countdowns at WishAFriend.com
